Textually Abusive

HA! You like that title? SOOOOOO original, don't you think? Yeah...

Anyway, it is a topic which has plagued my mind a little, as of late, and I feel that I need to doodle around it so that I might understand not only my resultant frustration but also how I might in turn deal with it in a face-to-face setting. I know that my words tend to be a tad jumbled when put on the spot... improvisation was never my forte. Therefore, why not plan out my grievance... no... no, that's far too dramatic a word. My response. Yes. Response.

I know this gentleman... well, not really "know"; he added me on FACEBOOK, and of course, this means that we are bosom buddies (a-ga-duh). He seems a decent fellow and I hate to kill him, and I seem a decent fellow, and I hate to d-... wait, wait, no; he seems a decent fellow and a wonderful, upstanding citizen* - graduate of SMU, teaches music, a very artistic guy. But he also seems to have a rather jagged edge to him; he loves - LOVES - to text. At all times of the day and night. He has the Sprint Evo phone, and apparently, he is able to talk and the phone understands him, thus negating the need for fingers to text.

And so he prefers texting to actual vocal communication. It suddenly seems to me then that perhaps it is a power/control thing: that he is able to do 100% of the talking and not feel obligated to actually listen to anything that the other person "says" (or rather types), basically allowing him to read whatever he wants into the texts he receives back. This leaves him quite vulnerable to one of my least favorite aspects of e-communication: lack of inflection. People do not realize (or at least far too many people tend to ignore) how important vocal inflection is when it comes to interpersonal communication. And seeing as how this guy thinks we are moments away from marriage, this makes our relationship all but insufferable.

The man sounds like such a nice, somewhat shy guy when we actually do converse on the phone, but a different facet comes to light when he texts me. He becomes rather haughty and attention starved... I guess kind of like my very own facet somewhat of the same lustre that I have learned to control. He assumes that I am ready and willing to agree with anything and everything he says, and being a teacher with summers off, he seems (please note I say 'seems' because heaven forbid he should explain himself) to become almost incredulous that I am unable to go on a date with him in BFE where he lives at the drop of a hat. I feel as though he may have been a rather privileged child... and perhaps might still be - one who has never really known want without fulfillment. I mean, heaven forbid that I actually do things in my life outside of my day job - my DAY job, which he has, but from which he is presently on summer hiatus - which I find more important. Selfish? Perhaps... but not in the slightest bit uncommon.

I think he feels he's charming, and that I am just head over heels for him and am merely playing hard to get. That being said, I do not find his character at all palatable and in all honest I am quite afraid of what inner demons this text persona is meant to keep covered. I fear that this "relationship" could go nowhere but down from any statement of exclusivity and thus I must bolster myself for the moment when I will need to merely tell him to stop.

My heavens I'm a picky bitch... but I was a child of the GHW Bush Era: "ME, ME, ME!" ... I was taught to think I was worth it.