"She's been born into the wrong time; she keeps nonsense on her mind.
She's a poet; she's a builder; she's as bored as bored can be.
She's a have-not; she's a know-all; she knows just how to say 'yes'.
She's skating frozen chaos till the no good gods are dead...
She's a clueless social climber; likes the wrong side of the bed.
She's a pick-me-up, and she's a "drink to me" in the company of friends.
She's tried every variation - she's so common, she's so cold.
She's homesick for a future... can't stomach what she's told."
You know, I wish I couldn't relate to these lyrics, but I'm afraid that I can in ways I never thought possible when first I listened to them back in the day. And who's fault is this? Wouldn't it be simple if I could just blame Chumbawumba? Lay guilt upon them simply because I heard their lyrics? It's suddenly oddly humorous that there is such controversy over children hearing violent lyrics and exhibiting the potential to be violent... might the same thing happen should one hear introspective lyrics? The debate shall surge, no doubt...
But I guess that's why I write here; introspection seems to be a very precarious term these days - to one direction, we who look within are ahead of our time, forging a path to enlightenment and self-understanding and the understanding of how we fit into this world... to another, we are self-centered, self-aggrandizing egoists who feel the need to look out for none but number one. I like to think myself nowhere near the latter, but does thinking just so make me egocentric? It seems so... but then again, so does blogging, regardless of whether or not anyone reads it!
My feeling is, however, that there are certain aspects of our very humanity which are rather egoistic; namely self-preservation and self-continuance. Continuance of the species is a very self-centered ideal, but in an oddly altruist fashion. It suddenly makes me rather ill to think that we cannot help but be so damn human.
In other news, I have decided that I must... MUST... delete my facebook account... if only for a month. Facebook has captured more than just my attention; it has captured my very soul. I find myself going back to the website time and again at home in the evenings just HOPING to have caught some one's attention; just praying they will have commented on a photo or a post or something. But as I have "e-aged" on facebook, I have noticed more and more that - with the development of things such as the "like" feature and "hiding" - people really just don't give a shit; everyone is there for the same reasons I am there, and the majority of them have already formed e-cliques into which entry is quite exclusive. That being said, I feel that facebook has become just a complex, "belled and whistled" online photo album which people can publicly ignore... and frankly, I feel like that might just be poison!
There are such things as computer viruses - computer programs that make your computer sick - but I now believe there is also computer poison, or rather computer do-dads that make you sick. Facebook is one such do-dad, at least for me it is. Some people have built up an immunity to this poison... I however have not. And therefore the way to build aforementioned immunity is to ween myself onto it... from a lack thereof, of course. Meaning? I must delete my facebook account and start over at some undisclosed time in the future.
My mother suggested I just not go to facebook for a while or only intermittently, but as with any addiction, you can't just only do it sometimes... you can't just "shoot up" after lunch and no longer call yourself addicted. Therefore, I will go cold turkey at the end of July for at VERY least a month, if not longer... dependent upon my needs at that point, and by needs, I mean thus: if I can learn how to appreciate the "social network" that may be provided by facebook, and if I can utilize it as such as opposed to an e-life coach or "positivity" generator. If I can ignore the "social" aspect of it and use it merely as the aforementioned photo album (you know, as opposed to flickr which would do just the same thing...). And various other reasons which I really don't care to discuss. And why should I?
Anyway, yeah... July 31st, 11:59 PM... deleting my facebook account for at very least a month. If not indefinitely. So there.
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